A New Year...

so hopefully I'll have some new thoughts, ideas, and goals up my sleeve. as you can see, I haven't been around much; I've been doing some thinking during my long hiatus.

I'm ready to jump into the world, a new me, and try to move forward as optimistically and successfully as I can. 2008 was a really intense year for me. Good things happened. Bad things happened. Unthinkably bizarre things happened. The realization that you should be careful what you wish for because the world is so small hit me right between the eyes. But through all this, I really grew, psychologically. I feel like physical growth is nearly impossible since I've been the same for the past seven years. But even so, I've grown and matured.

2009. a year for discipline, hard work, appreciation, and most of all, love. Love for your family, your work, your blessings, and love for the ones you can't live without.

Yours truly,
YC

What You See...

not exactly what you get. As you can see, I haven't been here in a while. Sadly, alcohol has taken a large toll on me, and not in the good way. But let's not go into details. Let's just say, shit happens when you least expect it. I've been pretty stressed about all that has happened to me in the past couple weeks, but I feel a little better. So I know in my last blog I said I wasn't an alcoholic. Okay. I'm not exactly an alcoholic, but of course I drink from time to time. But who doesn't? It's college for crying out loud. Let me just say this: getting fcuked up twice in one week is not the best way to let a week pass. It's horrible.

Of course I've already broken one of my new year resolutions when it comes to drinking excessively. Man, no more alcohol for a long time. I know I always say this but, I tend to like myself better when I'm sober. I can actually remember what's going on without the whole judgment impairment thing going on. So until then, I shall drink less. I'll let you know when I've relapsed.

On a better note, I took out my sewing machine and decided to sew again. Man it's been awhile. Embarrassingly, I almost forgot how to sew in a straight line. I would like to say that it was difficult since my table was so teeny, but that's not gonna cut it for me, so let's not go there, hehe. It felt really refreshing to sew again honestly. I really do wish I had a better sewing machine but, for now, I just have to make do with what I've got, so there. Hate to cut this short, but sadly I have better things to do then blog about nothingness, so until next time.

Yours truly,
YC

Misunderstood.

Story of my life really. Sometimes, parents know what's best, but sometimes, they just don't understand. There are times that I just want to scream and curse at the world for its unfairness. Yeah, I can speak my mind to everyone, whether I care about them or not; just not my parents. It's hard to be young and unmotivated while trying to live up to their expectations. Yes, I do curse the world. Of course there needs to be balance, it's the basic concept of life I suppose: the yin and yang. For every thesis, there must be an antithesis. For all the bad luck in the world, there must be some amounts of good. Would the world really tip the scale if everyone could live fairly and happily? ...it probably would. I wouldn't know. I don't know the rules of the universe so whatever.

I feel as if the people who understand me the most are my friends, including my wonderful boyfriend of course. Most of us are all Asian, and are the first generations here. I know this sounds awfully stereotyped, but most parents of first generation Asian kids want their kids to do something great and lucrative so they can be financially stable and set for life. So they say. Well, I don't have a doubt in my mind that they think it's for the best. But I don't think they understand that pushing us to do something we don't want to won't necessarily make us happy. As a matter of fact, some people end up resenting for parents for life after that. I love and respect my parents with all my heart. I really do. I understand that without their guidance, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am now: a respectful university, a proud advocate of drug awareness, and SURPRISE! a nonalcoholic. Well, until I muster up enough courage to tell them I'm ready to be independent, and free of elderly preaching, I'll sleep on it for another day.

Sigh.

Yours truly,
YC