Misunderstood.

Story of my life really. Sometimes, parents know what's best, but sometimes, they just don't understand. There are times that I just want to scream and curse at the world for its unfairness. Yeah, I can speak my mind to everyone, whether I care about them or not; just not my parents. It's hard to be young and unmotivated while trying to live up to their expectations. Yes, I do curse the world. Of course there needs to be balance, it's the basic concept of life I suppose: the yin and yang. For every thesis, there must be an antithesis. For all the bad luck in the world, there must be some amounts of good. Would the world really tip the scale if everyone could live fairly and happily? ...it probably would. I wouldn't know. I don't know the rules of the universe so whatever.

I feel as if the people who understand me the most are my friends, including my wonderful boyfriend of course. Most of us are all Asian, and are the first generations here. I know this sounds awfully stereotyped, but most parents of first generation Asian kids want their kids to do something great and lucrative so they can be financially stable and set for life. So they say. Well, I don't have a doubt in my mind that they think it's for the best. But I don't think they understand that pushing us to do something we don't want to won't necessarily make us happy. As a matter of fact, some people end up resenting for parents for life after that. I love and respect my parents with all my heart. I really do. I understand that without their guidance, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am now: a respectful university, a proud advocate of drug awareness, and SURPRISE! a nonalcoholic. Well, until I muster up enough courage to tell them I'm ready to be independent, and free of elderly preaching, I'll sleep on it for another day.

Sigh.

Yours truly,
YC

Boo On Papers

I don't know about you guys, but I never liked papers much. There's just something about them that bug me so much. I always seem to be attacked by the worst writer's block. I always feel like I'm reiterating everything, making me sound dumber than I already am. I swear, I do not have the ability to write a decent college paper; it's a freaking joke. And the thing is, I actually try to make them sound okay. My sleeping cycle's been out of whack too. I sleep around 3, wake around 9... 10 if I'm lucky. Kids, addiction and dependency on energy drinks are bad. SAY NO TO ROCKSTAR & RED BULL & MONSTER WHILE YOU STILL CAN, unless you drink them once in a while with Jager, but even still, excessive Jager bombs aren't good for you either. Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention in my last post, college has a tendency to turn regular students into regular participants of Tequila Tuesdays. As for me, I made it a resolution of 08 to drink way less than I did in 07. I've been doing pretty good. As of today since the new year started, I went to ONE party that was taking place at my apartment, and I didn't get drunk. So yay for me, miss Youqui Chi. :D So I figured, before I start selling my trash that potentially are other people's treasures, I'm gonna go take a trip to the post office down the street. It's really small and I've never been in there, so I don't know what kind of services are offered. So once I find out, I can hopefully start making some money. Hmm... I should probably major in Business or something, so I can get an idea of how to properly run a business, since that's what I pretty much want to do later on.

Wow, I told you I was a horrible writer. I went from writing about how I hate writing papers, to college drinking habits, to college majors. Talk about major digression. So I have a pretty busy day ahead of me starting around 9 in the morning. I need to make a short trip to the post office, counseling appointment, and a whole lot of studying that absolutely needs to get done. I really don't like studying. There's just something about sticking my head in books consistently for hours at a time, or doing practice problems over and over again until they're etched into my brain. Oh yeah, and hopefully I have enough time to work out. I haven't worked out in a while, and I feel pretty damn guilty for neglecting this body. Alright well, it's time for me to hit the sack. I'll be in bed before 1. Now that's the record of the week.

Yours truly,
YC

College.

I've been a college student for a while now, and there are a lot of things I've learned. Graduating from high school, I didn't think college would have any down sides because, it's college. We live away from our parents, we don't have these idiotic curfews, and we're pretty much liberated from conformity and the shallow bitches of high school... or so I thought.

I'm not saying there's nothing great about college. College is the best time to meet new people, be active, and just have fun. I've gone to parties here and there, and I've met some pretty bright and colorful people. I don't know about the whole Greek society that goes on at colleges and universities. A lot of them represent honor societies for pharmacy students, or hopeful premeds. While some others seem to represent cheap glamour and incessant partying, which I'm sure is just a dirty stereotype that was hammered in my mind ever since I graduated from high school. But yeah, Greek is definitely not for me. Why do I need bros and sises when I have a real sister of my own?

Oh yeah, I'm sure everyone has heard of the freshman fifteen. Well, it happens. And then again, sometimes it doesn't. It was like the freshman negative five for me. When I was at home, my parents always made sure I never went hungry, even if they spent a shitload of time preparing the most delicious dishes. But now, I don't have that time and energy to cook for myself. As a college student, breakfast just doesn't exist. I wake up, eat BRUNCH if I'm lucky and have enough time, and go to class. Eating outdoors becomes quite common too. Who wants to eat dorm food all the time? And living in an apartment, what would you eat if you open your closet one day and realize that it's empty and in need of restocking?

Oh yes, office hours. I can't even explain how important those are. For one thing, the professor of a bajillion students gets to acknowledge you. I don't know, I'm not the best college student there is. I skip classes where roll isn't taken, and sometimes I get behind on my reading and work. It happens. College can be stressing if you feel the pressure to be outstanding. An upperclassmen friend of mine told me that times can get rough, but you should still try to enjoy college because once it's over, the real life begins. So I do try hard to balance school with hobbies. One thing you should know is, don't be afraid to be who you really are. In college, you really are free, so enjoy it to the fullest.

Yours truly,
YC

Money would be nice...

Yeah, as of right now, I'm officially unemployed. I don't know about you, but being far away where no one really knows you and you barely have any job experience to begin with is difficult for people like me to get a job. I've turned in three job applications, but I haven't heard from a single one of them. Maybe because I turned them in less than two days ago. But still, why won't people just give me a try? I just feel so pathetic and dejected when people look at me and think I'm fourteen or something. Surely it's not my problem that I just happen to look way younger than I really am.

Because I have the nasty habit of spending more money than I have, it's probably best if I maybe sold some things online. Hmm... I'm not really into ebay. Why should I pay ebay for posting an item for sale? That's so idiotic and makes no sense. Alright well, I'll be moping about unemployment. Til next time.

Yours truly,
YC

Identity Crisis

Yeah, the title says it all. I'm having a huge identity crisis. I kind of feel obligated to please everyone around me. Not that it's a bad thing, but it does get awfully frustrating. I'm just still unsure of what my purpose is. Sometimes I feel so ambivalent about all the decisions that I'm going to have to eventually make. Don't get me wrong, college is really liberating, but there are times that I feel lost without the guidance of my parents; and it feels that much harder to live up to their expectations. Mm... I suppose almost every college student has her reservations at least once before making a crucial decision that'll affect her schooling and her life. So I'm trying to balance school with my artistic hobbies. It's tough at times, but there are always people who bring me back to reality and help me realize that it'll be okay. So with that said, I shall rant no more tonight, and sleep on it. Hopefully I'll wake tomorrow more confident and sure of myself in the morning.

Yours truly,
YC